NOM.

wenchlatte:

thighhighdalish:

rurone:

zorobro:

Deep-Dish Chocolate Chip Cookie for One

 Ingredients (1 serving):

  • 1 Tbsp unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 1/2 Tbsp unrefined granulated sugar, such as evaporated cane juice
  • 1/2 Tbsp packed light brown sugar
  • 1 Tbsp beaten egg, preferably organic (cover & chill remaining beaten egg for tomorrow’s cookie cup… you will be making another one!)
  • tiny splash pure vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 Tbsp whole wheat pastry flour (can substitute with 3:1 of cake flour and all purpose flour)
  • 1/8 tsp baking soda
  • tiny pinch salt
  • heaping 1 Tbsp grain-sweetened chocolate chips, such as Sunspire

Instructions

In a small ramekin or microwavable cup, combine softened butter and both sugars; stir well with a spoon. Stir in beaten egg and vanilla extract. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt just until combined. Stir in chocolate chips.

Microwave on high for 35-40 seconds. Let cookie rest at room temperature for about 10 seconds before devouring.

Nutritional Information:

253.2 calories, 13.8 grams fat, 8.4 grams saturated fat, 2.9 grams fiber, 17.5 grams sugars, 2.4 grams protein

image

If I don’t reblog this, I will regret losing the recipe.

What she said

@elenilote

fuckingrecipes:

MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED MY FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? 
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE GODDAMN  WINTER SLIDE
UNDERAGE MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER STEER CLEAR OF THIS BULLSHIT - OBEY YOUR COUNTRY’S ALCOHOL LAWS, ASSHATS. 
PARADE YOUR FANCY ASS OVER TO YOUR LOCAL BREWERY AND DEMAND THEY SUBMIT TITHE TO THE MAJESTY THAT IS YOUR FACE! ACCEPT ONLY THE FINEST IRISH CREAM (I PREFER CAROLINES)

WHEN YOU FEEL SATISFIED AT THEIR HUMBLE OFFERINGS, SPREAD YOUR FUCKING WINGS AND HEAD-BOB YOUR WAY BACK TO THE KITCHEN. 
TEAR A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE AND GRAB REALITY BY THE HEART - FEEL THE LIFE-BLOOD POURING BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS AND STRIP IT AWAY. 
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST HARVESTED SOME YORK-MINT-PATTY COFFEE CREAMER!

CALL UP YOUR CANADIAN BROS AND GET THEM TO RIDE A POLAR BEAR OVER TO YOUR HOUSE FOR SOME FLY-ASS VANILLA ICE CREAM
LEFTOVER CANDY CANES? SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!
PRACTICE YOUR TIBETAN THROAT-SINGING WHILE MEASURING OUT YOUR INGREDIENTS. 
1/4 CUP IRISH CREAM
3 CUPS ICE CREAM
1/8 CUP CREAMER
AGGRESSIVELY POUR THEM INTO A BLENDER AND SMACK THE FUCKING MACHINE UNTIL IT BLENDS THE SHIT OUT OF THIS CRAZY AWESOMENESS. 
TAKE YOUR HUGE-ASS WINE GLASS BY THE STEM, AND PICK UP YOUR CHOCOLATE SYRUP WITH THE OTHER DEMON-STABBING HAND.
IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE SYRUP, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HUMAN BEING ARE YOU? PURCHASE SOME! FUCK!
SLOWLY SPIN THE WINE GLASS WHILE SQUIRTING SYRUP INTO IT, AND DRAW THE SQUIRT BOTTLE UP TOWARD THE TOP OF THE GLASS WHILE IT SPINS. 
THAT SHOULD MAKE AN AESTHETICALLY PLEASING AND ALSO DELICIOUS SWIRL OF CHOCOLATE ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR GLASS. 
HOLY FUCKING TITS, LOOK AT YOUR FANCY ASS!
CATCALL THE UNIVERSE FOR BEING SUCH A MAJESTIC MOTHERCUKER AND DUMP YOUR BLENDED BULLSHIT INTO THE GLASS. 
TOP IT WITH WHIPPED CREAM, MORE CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND THAT SMASHED CANDY CANE I MENTIONED EARLIER!
ENJOY YOUR MOUTHGASM, ASSHOLE!

fuckingrecipes:

MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED MY FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? 

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE GODDAMN  WINTER SLIDE

UNDERAGE MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER STEER CLEAR OF THIS BULLSHIT - OBEY YOUR COUNTRY’S ALCOHOL LAWS, ASSHATS. 


PARADE YOUR FANCY ASS OVER TO YOUR LOCAL BREWERY AND DEMAND THEY SUBMIT TITHE TO THE MAJESTY THAT IS YOUR FACE! ACCEPT ONLY THE FINEST IRISH CREAM (I PREFER CAROLINES)

image

WHEN YOU FEEL SATISFIED AT THEIR HUMBLE OFFERINGS, SPREAD YOUR FUCKING WINGS AND HEAD-BOB YOUR WAY BACK TO THE KITCHEN. 

TEAR A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE AND GRAB REALITY BY THE HEART - FEEL THE LIFE-BLOOD POURING BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS AND STRIP IT AWAY. 

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST HARVESTED SOME YORK-MINT-PATTY COFFEE CREAMER!

image

CALL UP YOUR CANADIAN BROS AND GET THEM TO RIDE A POLAR BEAR OVER TO YOUR HOUSE FOR SOME FLY-ASS VANILLA ICE CREAM

LEFTOVER CANDY CANES? SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

PRACTICE YOUR TIBETAN THROAT-SINGING WHILE MEASURING OUT YOUR INGREDIENTS. 

1/4 CUP IRISH CREAM

3 CUPS ICE CREAM

1/8 CUP CREAMER

AGGRESSIVELY POUR THEM INTO A BLENDER AND SMACK THE FUCKING MACHINE UNTIL IT BLENDS THE SHIT OUT OF THIS CRAZY AWESOMENESS. 

TAKE YOUR HUGE-ASS WINE GLASS BY THE STEM, AND PICK UP YOUR CHOCOLATE SYRUP WITH THE OTHER DEMON-STABBING HAND.

IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE SYRUP, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HUMAN BEING ARE YOU? PURCHASE SOME! FUCK!

SLOWLY SPIN THE WINE GLASS WHILE SQUIRTING SYRUP INTO IT, AND DRAW THE SQUIRT BOTTLE UP TOWARD THE TOP OF THE GLASS WHILE IT SPINS. 

THAT SHOULD MAKE AN AESTHETICALLY PLEASING AND ALSO DELICIOUS SWIRL OF CHOCOLATE ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR GLASS. 

HOLY FUCKING TITS, LOOK AT YOUR FANCY ASS!

CATCALL THE UNIVERSE FOR BEING SUCH A MAJESTIC MOTHERCUKER AND DUMP YOUR BLENDED BULLSHIT INTO THE GLASS. 

TOP IT WITH WHIPPED CREAM, MORE CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND THAT SMASHED CANDY CANE I MENTIONED EARLIER!

ENJOY YOUR MOUTHGASM, ASSHOLE!

in-my-mouth:

Stuffed Cheesy Bread on Crack

thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy:

suarts:

Student living got you down?

Check out these 18 amazing snacks that you can make in a cup in the microwave! Cheap and easy these are the perfect snacks! 

god bless 

sunsgodown:

true friends don’t judge each other

they judge other people

together

livetomakeadifference:

tomhiddlesbitch:

y

faeriecloudracers:

moreboringthanwheelofmonotony:

raisehighroofbeams:

This is what I really don’t like about Taylor. 

Like, date however many dudes you want. More power to ya. But don’t be a fucking spiteful asshole. Nobody likes that shit.

Exfuckingactly. She’s twenty-three years old, and bills herself in all her songs as such a cute little victim who just fell for the wrong boy, but then she pulls shit like this all the time. You’re a role model to millions of younger girls. Don’t you think you should

a) grow up about things like that?

b) start accepting that possibly, maybe, just POTENTIALLY you might be the problem sometimes? The odds of you dating all these boys and it NEVER ONCE BEING YOU is…well, not happening.

Be an adult. Have as many exes as you’d like but stop acting like a goody two shoes who only ever is innocent and then turn around trying to demonize them while being a bitch. 

^ whoever made this argument is seriously my fucking favorite
i also love the fact that harry is younger than her, and hasn’t said a single fucking word about the break up. it just goes to show you that maturity doesn’t always coincide with age.

Or that men are any less mature than women…

fuckyeahgaycouples:

Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka @ The 55th Annual Grammy Awards - Glam Cam 360

heyynick:

dat bottom gif is everything tbh